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I enjoy listening to Sonic Youth, purely because it seems High Brow compared to most music. However it does make me look like a SMUG CUNT, which I've been trying to avoid.

Overall Review 8/10

The Condom Incident

Today I'd like to tell a story about how I was once at the supermarket with a friend looking to buy wine and get drunk, and debating how much we look like a gay couple. We both like drinking wine, but resent the "pair of fucking queers" look, reserved as standard for any two men buying wine together, and used indiscriminately by middle aged women who work on supermarket checkouts.

Fast-forward about 5 minutes and we're standing at the checkout watching 3 bottles of red wine roll down the conveyor belt, and arguing over who's going to pay. The woman on the till has The Look on her face. Just as we sort out payment issues we hear a fourth beep, as something extra gets scanned in, and see a massive packet of Condoms slide towards us.

I look at my friend to see if he's picked them up on the way round as a joke to embarrass me. He looks at me, obviously just as confused as I am. We both look at the woman on the till, who is trying desperately not to make eye contact with either of us in case she visualises us having drunken gay sex. Naturally we both verbally jumped to the defensive.

At this point we realise that there's a long line of people waiting at the checkout who are watching the whole situation, in particular the nervous looking teenage girl directly behind us in the queue. You see, there hadn't been any condoms on the conveyor belt when we bought the wine. She was holding onto them because she was too embarrassed that people would see them if she put them down, book-ended between two 'next customer please' signs, and jump to the conclusion that she was some kind of 15 year old slut. Now she had to verbally acknowledge in front of two 20-something year old men, a middle aged woman and a massive line of supermarket patrons that she was indeed attempting to purchase an extra large packet of condoms, without making eye contact with either of us as we were pissing ourselves laughing.

Slut.